Breaking News

August 23, 2007 at 10:31 pm 4 comments

Quote from this evening’s news:

“There are just as many hillbillies in New York as there are in Lexington.”

Given my limited knowledge of New York (I went once with the fam several years ago), I am unqualified to analyze the hillbilly:non-hillbilly ratio up there.  I will say that given the high hillbilly:non-hillbilly ratio in these parts, I am skeptical that this statement is actually true.

Click here for the full news story that spurred this conversation. 

Here is the part of the story (by Joe Glazer) that I love:

Yes, it’s not a typo, I’m in Kentucky: They said I’d never, ever step foot in Georgetown. I’ve often joked around that I would never go, being that I’m an ethnic New Yawka and I’d stick out worse than Joe Pesci would, or actually did, in “My Cousin Vinny.” I mean, I’m a complete dead giveaway for someone who, well, isn’t from Kentucky.

Just as the folks from small towns like this have certain preconceived notions about the Big Apple and loud, arrogant, obnoxious, aggressive folks like myself, I’ve seen things on TV about how city boys and country folk don’t exactly mix.

Sorry, Georgetown but there was nothing to change my view in the least.

First of all, it’s in a dry county. Why is there anywhere in America that is dry? Let’s get real people. Not selling alcohol in one area is the dumbest thing in the world. You know what it does? It forces you to travel long distances to the next county to get drunk and then drive aaaaalllll the way back to Georgetown. How stupid is this rule? It also leads to the freaking hillbilly who was selling moonshine out of the back of his truck. Did I just say moonshine? Did I just say hillbilly? Folks, I’m not making this stuff up.

There are actually people who still sell moonshine in Kentucky and there was a guy giving it out from the back of his pickup the weekend I was there.

How do I say this gracefully and without half of Kentucky wanting to hang me by my you know whats? Let’s be honest, parts of Kentucky don’t exactly have a reputation for hording the members of MENSA or the contestants for the National Spelling Bee. With that in mind, I’m begging the folks in the Georgetown area to hire a full-time scout to walk around the town and correct grammar and spelling in order to dispel the myths.

The two best signs in America are both in Georgetown. First one hung in a WalMart that read, “All movies needs to be pay in electronics.” Huh? You is a honor student? Didn’t, oh, I don’t know, ONE PERSON realize that sentence simply isn’t English?

Then, I didn’t see this sign but I heard about it, the local Wendy’s originally had their big sign out front say, “Now hiring closers.” However, the “c” in closers fell off so for a while Wendy’s was “Now hiring losers.”

Nice.

Also, it’s hot here.  Really hot.  And the only benefits to the hot weather are:

  1. I had to eat ice cream for dinner in order to cool down.
  2. I work in an air-conditioned building.  (Thanks, mom and dad for gently encouraging me not to go into manual labor, such as construction work.  And by “gently encouraging” I mean, “telling me how much I sucked at painting the back of the house the summer after my freshman year at college.”)

More on college, my movie’s soundtrack, and the heat tomorrow.  I’m getting good at blogging.  Which should help me document events for publication in my book. (and I’m only semi-serious about that statement).

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Entry filed under: Lexington.

Back to school! the brain-eating dream

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Debbie  |  August 24, 2007 at 6:58 am

    Hi, Jen!
    I love that you’re blogging more now! It helps me to keep in touch with you. Stay cool and enjoy your ice cream.

    Reply
  • 2. D  |  August 24, 2007 at 10:53 pm

    Hey I understand that Larry Birkhead is “back home” in loooooville to celebrate little Dannilynn’s B-day this week. What every happen to Miss Kentucky with the racy pics? I guess the guy was wrong on the MENSA thing…..

    Isn’t K-Fed from Kentucky?

    Geezzz Jen now that Jason is gone from the state the IQ level dropped by 1/2 and when You leave the MENSA club will have to shut down….

    I also understand tha Mike Vick has a dog training kennel “somewhere up in tha heeells” in east kentucky.

    And now you understnad why Abe Linclon had so many mental lapses and breakdowns.

    Reply
  • 3. Amy  |  August 25, 2007 at 10:50 am

    Hey, I forgot to recommend “Intuition” by Allegra Goodman; your recent autobiography posts made me remember it. I have a copy to send if you have any free time.

    Reply
  • 4. jp  |  August 26, 2007 at 10:31 pm

    D – who are you and what have you done with my dad? K-Fed? Miss Kentucky? Dannilynn? Do you really follow that crap? And, is it me, or was that a compliment to Jason? I think it was.

    Jason, are you posting as my dad?

    Also, Amy, I would love to read that book… but I might have to wait to borrow it until after the move… (not sure what exactly will fit in the POD).

    Reply

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